Pat Condell Is Waiting for Jesus … And He’s Pissed!

WOW! You know, I like Pat Condell. I respect his intellectual prowess–his quick delivery and vicious wit. I also admire anybody who just lays it on the table and says, “this is who I am and this is what I believe!” But it doesn’t shield you from criticism. We all know that. If you don’t, you’re lying.

I’m well aware of the fact that Pat is an atheist. I have no real problem with that. I have a number of friends who are admitted atheists, but have no problem with me being a Christian. I don’t have a problem with them being atheists. It’s not my job to “save them.” God is more than capable of doing that Himself. But I can’t help but sense a lot of inner-rage coming from Pat in this clip.

First, Pat starts off with some observations about certain individuals that claim to be Christians–and probably are–but do some incredibly stupid things. Well, as someone who considers themselves a pragmatic Christian, I couldn’t agree more with Pat.

For example, Condell brings up the point of wacko churches where we see if the Good Lawd will save us if we let a highly venomous snakes bite us–’cause the Good Lawd did say in the Book that He would save us from serpents of all kinds! Yeah, I’m not into that either, Pat. I mean, Scripture did say don’t put God to a foolish test!

Pat goes on to bring up the case of Christians reenacting crucifixions, such as those one might see in certain sectors of the Philippines.  Yeah … I’m not into that, either, Pat. Condell laments that Jesus must be shaking his head seeing it all. I’m inclined to agree, since Christ was already crucified in OUR place. That was the whole point of His Sacrifice, at least I thought … anywhoo!

As I watched this clip, I saw Pat’s observations of certain Christians go from understandable to hyperbolic. Was it Christ who heaped all this misery and guilt upon us? Or was it mankind? Or was it Pat per se–meaning, all of us? You be the judge! But that’s the problem, isn’t it! We’re all the judge!

If Pat is going to go off like a blowhard regarding his disbelief, then I’m going to go off like blowhard regarding my belief! I’m not so much insulted by what Condell says, I’m embarrassed for him in this clip–honestly. He sounds like a jilted lover, but I digress  … and really, it sounds “personal” with this guy.

You can’t just pigeon-hole all Christians. Do you know why I believe? Because I believe in love! What do you believe in? What did Jesus do to you, Pat? Or was it those who proclaimed themselves to be Christians do to you? Whatever it is, it doesn’t sound right to me. But I’m just going off like a blowhard here, Pat. Give me the courtesy …

No, Pat, I don’t think the earth is only 6.000 years old. No, I don’t think drinking poisonous toxins is okay ’cause I’m “Christian.” I don’t see Jesus in my toast (I don’t see Obama in my beer foam, either). That’s not who I am. I believe it’s about doing good to each other, and doing the next right thing. I thought that was what the Man taught. But, apparently, you don’t see it that way, Pat.

Christ is not about DNA and enough character witnesses to me. It’s so much more than that my blog could scarcely contain my dissertations on why I “believe.” But it’s part of what I have faced in life … the times I faced death, and those who have! I’ve heard and read too many stories of those dying on the battlefield and they typically cry out two things: mother or God! That’s what I’ve been told, Pat! And that’s what I believe–that there is a Higher Power and you’re not it!

Toward the end of Condell’s nearly seven-minute diatribe on the evils of Christiantiy, he really starts to go completely off the rails, in my opinion. Pat wants to know why Christ didn’t reappear to a multitude following His Crucifixion. Surely Jesus knew the uncertainty that this would create? Jesus must have known about all the “bloodletting that would ensue” as a result?

WHAT? Are you God, Pat? Really? There were supposed to be expert witnesses present to record every detail to your heart’s fancy? REALLY?!? A “multitude should have seen His Acension”? Why? Who says? You? Didn’t the Roman guard fall asleep? Isn’t that the story, Pat?

What I just don’t get, Pat, is your hyperbolic insinuation that Jesus Christ is the reason for two thousand years of war and suffering. What?!? What the hell did Jesus do? With all due respect!

I don’t have to go back two thousand years to throw monkey wrenches into your ridiculous assertion, Pat, that Christ is responsible for all wars! Besides, he was just a Man from Galilee, right, Pat? A fictional character born of sick minds. Right? You didn’t mean to ascribe Him that much power, correct, Pat?

No, let’s just go back to the Twentieth Century. Was World War One started by Christ? Was the Spanish Civil War over Christ? Well, wait a minute, the Communists did kill scores of religious men and women, and burn their churches down … but I digress. Did World War Two erupt over Christianity? Are you insinuating, Pat, that any war that ever occurred, where Western people (whatever that is) were involved, was a result of Christ not appearing to enough people following His Acension; therefore, it all led to two thousand years of war and suffering? I’m starting to think you actually believe in Jesus, Pat. You’re just pissed he’s not doing it “fast enough” in my ever-so humble opinion.

Okay … let’s just run a scenario by Mr. Pat Condell: what if you died tonight, Pat, and a bunch of your fans decided to worship you. So devoted to you they were (channeling Yoda) that they began killing everything and anything that didn’t worship Pat Condell. Now, would that be your fault, Pat? Or would it be the fault of those who said they followed you?

You finished up, Pat, by postulating whether Christ was working for satan. Well, I believe the Pharisees and Sadducees (the political and religious rulers of Christ’s day) asked Jesus the same thing:

Matthew 12:22-37 (KJV)

22 Then was brought unto him one possessed with a devil, blind, and dumb: and he healed him, insomuch that the blind and dumb both spake and saw.

23 And all the people were amazed, and said, Is not this the son of David?

24 But when the Pharisees heard it, they said, This fellow doth not cast out devils, but by Beelzebub the prince of the devils.

25 And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand:

26 And if Satan cast out Satan, he is divided against himself; how shall then his kingdom stand?

27 And if I by Beelzebub cast out devils, by whom do your children cast them out? therefore they shall be your judges.

28 But if I cast out devils by the Spirit of God, then the kingdom of God is come unto you.

29 Or else how can one enter into a strong man’s house, and spoil his goods, except he first bind the strong man? and then he will spoil his house.

30 He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad.

31 Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.

32 And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come.

33 Either make the tree good, and his fruit good; or else make the tree corrupt, and his fruit corrupt: for the tree is known by his fruit.

34 O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

35 A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things: and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.

36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

37 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

Remember, Pat et al., whatever put you in this world can surely put you in another!

See, Pat, I can be a blowhard too! *smooches*

About Brent Parrish

Author, blogger, editor, researcher, graphic artist, software engineer, carpenter, woodworker, guitar shredder and a strict constitutionalist. Member of the Watcher's Council and the Qatar Awareness Campaign. I believe in individual rights, limited government, fiscal responsibility and a strong defense. ONE WORD: FREEDOM!
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