Bullies have been around for a very, very long time indeed. There’s always somebody who wishes to lord it over others via intimidation and violence. Recent events in my own life have brought the issue of “bullies” into the forefront, so to speak. Yeah, it really got me to thinking about “bullies.”
Now, I suppose one man’s bully is another man’s punching bag; which is always good for “bullies” to remember. But, then again, I guess bullies don’t care about what’s “good.” That’s why they’re bullies. Right? Well, we all know it may be more complicated than that. But does it matter?
My point is this: regardless of what awful experiences may have transpired in one’s life it does not give one the “right” to lord it over others via intimidation and/or violence. It’s the primary reason all States in the Union (and the world, for that matter) have police departments. I would go so far as to say it’s an universal opinion.
I hate violence. People getting hurt is never a good thing. But it may be necessary at times to prevent even worse violence from occurring. I believe it was the primary reason we fought the Nazis as a nation during World War II, not to mention the Japanese Imperial Army.
I can only speak from my own experience as a man regarding my own views and methods in dealing with bullies in my own life. I can’t say how I deal, or have dealt with, bullies is going to work for everybody. There is always just some plain physicality involved at times with bullies that excludes some from a direct confrontation. As a matter of fact, we all are sentenced to this inevitable fate: we were once young and required nurturing and protection; we will grow old and require the same–even the bullies.
Like many boys growing up, I guess I got in my fair share of scrapes growing up. It wasn’t combat, though. It was just growing up a boy in America. A fat lip or a bloody nose was not an uncommon experience for me growing up, or my friends. It just seemed like it was part of the equation. But, I usually got beat up, because I was frightened and scared. Bullies terrified me.
Without digressing into my life story, at the age of about fifteen some things in my life became very hard indeed. To make a long story short, I basically went from being a happy kid who made good grades to an angry, bitter, mean and resentful teen. But, as in all things, good things can come from bad things.
Before the upheaval in my life during my adolescence, I had lived for two years in Albany, New York. It was a wonderful time in my childhood. And I was, for all intents and purposes, the quintessential blue-eyed, blonde little white boy from upper-middle-class suburbia from the ubiquitous nuclear family that so many on the Left hate, and hated at the time. But I was a happy kid. But I was still terrified by bullies at my school. Then I moved to Indiana.
Let’s just say–and no offense to the residents of Albany-the kids in Indy were a lot tougher than what I was used to. The humidity and allergens in Indiana alone tormented me for several years in my pre-teens. I was not a happy camper at that time. Then my life was turned upside down. I’m not going to get into what that was. Many families in America experience upheavals.
Well, events in life can create a change in one’s mind. My best friend David at the time was a guy who would never back down from anybody. He amazed me! Because so many times they would back down. He later server honorably in the Marine Corps.
One day Dave and I were walking down the hall in Junior High School and he saw a “bully” who had been tormenting me walk into the Boy’s Room and said to me, “You need to go in there and deal with that.” I was terrified, but I sucked it up and did just that. I steeled myself to a fight and marched into that bathroom and told my tormenter in no uncertain terms what would occur in that bathroom against those cold tiles if he ever *#$&! with me again! I was still terrified, but I did it.
I’ll never forget his reaction. He looked back at me shocked–quickly zipped up his fly and took a wide path around me to egress the situation. He did not say one word on his way out. No blood was shed. But the threat was surely there, because I was done, and he knew it. It did not matter if he hit me. I was going to hit him back. And he knew it! I never had another problem with that guy, nor did I ever back down from a bully again.
But is there a fine line between the bullied becoming the bully? I suppose there is. If I had entered the bathroom and immediately started swinging, maybe I would be the bully then.
A couple of people who have written articles for TRP have had there own painful experiences with bullies and violence. One story involved a mother whose son suffered head trauma as a result of an assault by some other kids. Another one of our readers wrote an article describing the horrific experience of discovering her son had been raped and sodomized by one of his cousins over a two-year period. I recently talked to a friend who knew of a guy who got involved in a road rage incident and suffered serious brain damage as a result. The cost of violence can be high indeed, and the consequences extend far into the future–affecting many. I’m also moved by the fact that some of the victims I mentioned have tried to forgive and move past their own deep anger and resentment toward those who had harmed them, despite the unbelievable pain and suffering their attackers caused.
I realize some of the individuals who were the perpetrators in the aforementioned crimes may have been abused and victimized themselves during their lives. And that truly is a sad and heartbreaking thing! It may be the primary motivating factor in their aggressive and violent behavior. But I don’t believe in rewarding bad behavior, period. Just because you may be a victim does not give you the right to victimize others. If there are no consequences to violent and aggressive behavior, then there is no reason for the aggressor to stop being violent and aggressive.
Sun Tzu taught the greatest warrior of all is he who sheds no blood. But you can’t be a warrior if you’re not willing to shed blood. Get it? Many do not. It’s an aspect of warfare that the Left loves to exploit. But as real warriors know–meaning our veterans, police officers and the like–violence is necessary at times to stop bullies from further violence!