by GeeNee (a.k.a. jminwash)
When your child is born you look at your infant in awe–a beautiful life that you created that is now yours to name, to take care of, love with all your heart, and watch grow to adulthood. You make sure they brush their teeth and respect others. And then an insidious series of events happen and you wonder how something this horrific could occur; your once beautiful funny child has devolved into a hateful, violent, mean-spirited, spiteful and scared boy.
I received a phone call from my son’s school when he was in 7th grade. He had decked another student so hard that he was out cold. 911 was called and the student was transported to the hospital. The police were called. My son was charged with assault, immediately expelled from school, and released into my care. My wonderful boy, nicknamed “Ant,” was now an alleged criminal at 12 years old. His explanation for this unfortunate incident: the kid was sitting in his chair. He told him to get out of HIS chair. The kid refused and he took action. I was baffled beyond belief. What happened to the respect for others? What turned my son into a bully?
My once wonderful son turned into an aggressive violent person for 3 long years; there were times that I was scared for my own life. The School District placed him in a new program for kids with issues–eight students, two teachers, one psychologist, and one behavorial specialist. I found an intensive Mental Health program that included visits to his school and home, and also medication management with a Psychiatrist. His anger exploded to the point I had to remove everything from my home that could be used as a weapon–a gun, a hacket, kitchen knives and baseball bats. His bedroom had holes in the walls where he would punch and bloody his hands. He took a hatchet to his floor and made holes between the joists; he became a cutter and hid it. He was ordered by the court to be in the “high risk youth” program. He attempted suicide and was sent to a Mental Hospital for an 8-day evaluation and left there loaded up with more medication.
My phone rang one day and the mystery of this violent behavior was revealed. My son finally after three years of counseling admitted to his counselor that when he was six years-old he had been repeatedly raped (sodomized) by two of his cousins that were a decade older than he was. I tried talking to my son about this and it took awhile but he slowly felt comfortable enough to generally explain the circumstances. He didn’t know how to cope with the memories and just struck out any way he could.
I was horrified that something like this could even happen to my precious little boy. The police were notified; they interviewed him. A report was filed to the prosecutor. And then nothing happened. It dawned on me that his other cousin was about the same age and I asked my son if he would like to call him and see if anything similar happened to him; he denied it. Fast forward another year and my nephew wrote a paper in his high school English class describing events that took place over a two year period of time eerily similar to my son’s story. Again the police were called and a report was filed with the prosecutor. Now they have two cases and had enough information to charge the two now grown men.
The case went to trial 12 years after the crimes were committed. Memories were blurred in an attempt to forget. To sit in a courtroom and hear your own son describe how he was sodomized over and over again was too much for me to bear. I cried openly and it broke my heart. The first trial ended in a hung jury (11-1 to convict). The jurors told the prosecutor that they felt another trial would most likely bring a guilty verdict. Six months later another trial found them NOT guilty. According to the prosecutor, unless there is at least three accusers the likelihood to get a conviction is lower. Two pedophiles are now running rampant on the streets of Seattle. They have been in and out of jail on other kinds of charges. So I know in my heart they live with their brutal attacks fresh in their minds. And I can’t wait until they die and burn in hell for all eternity. My son is now 22 years old and still bears some emotional scars that he will live with for the rest of his life–even after intensive treatment.
After the recent Penn State University travesty that has begun to unfold, don’t forget that the most innocent amongst us are the true victims–our precious children. Adults that violate and don’t respect our children deserve nothing from us except disdain and prosecution. Those that turn a blind-eye are not owed loyalty, nor praise–no matter what their prior accomplishments have been. If a child you know begins displaying behavior that is out of character, keep in the back of your mind that rape of a child is one of the most UNDER-REPORTED crimes, especially male/male assaults. The stigma is still there that it’s better to live ashamed than report it.